Friday, June 23, 2006

A Tribute to My Brother

On April 16 I wrote about a friend of my brother's who committed suicide. On Wednesday my brother took the same path.

I'm not sure now that what I wrote about Anne was totally true. It's true I didn't get to know her. Obviously her death affected Graham more than we thought or knew.

Graham was the baby in our family. There were 6 of us growing up and my sister Christine was the little mother to Graham when he was a baby. There was 10 years between oldest (me) and youngest (Graham) and we were all very close. Now we're all devastated and dealing with the loss in different ways.

There were lots of reasons and there was no one reason that stood out. Graham and his wife have been separated for 14 months and he has 3 beautiful girls that can't understand what's happened. The hardest thing was when we all gathered to tell the girls that their father was dead. It was heart-breaking and a memory that will never leave me. Aileen (Graham's wife) is blaming herself and we all have our guilt to bear. The first thing that Carly said was that we've seen so little of Graham since they broke up. Warren (my other brother) never stepped foot in his new house. Dad (in Queensland) hasn't seen Graham for a couple of years.

Graham painted our house after the renovations last year and never got back to put the final coat on the outside. Such a fucken waste. Tonight I've decided to get drunk. On Wednesday night most of the family joined all his friends at his local to send him off and I would have loved to join them, but not living in Wagga I just couldn't. I had to get home. Tonight I'm playing his music and remembering the Graham I loved. If he wasn't already dead I could kill him.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

A House Full of Women

My two nieces are sleeping over tonight and Alex is sleeping at his mate's place a few doors down the road so we're having an all-girls night. Little Emilie and I watched "Chicken Little" on DVD earlier. Not bad but I couldn't help thinking all through it that chickens don't have teeth. Every time Little or his dad smiled they had a mouthful of teeth. It put me off.

We had pizza tonight, a rarity around here because Carly is not big on pizzas. However, both Amy and Emilie love pizza and I had a craving for it so pizza it was. Mum rang earlier to say Aileen and the girls were having lunch there and would I like to have the girls tonight. Aileen looks great, she's off to Sydney next week for a Qantas training course and mum is going over to Wagga to mind the girls. The youngest, Shannon, stayed with mum (she loves her Nanna) and I know Reg will enjoy having her there too.

I had planned on inviting Emily and Lauren for tea but didn't ring them when I knew there was already a house-full. Perhaps tomorrow night, though tomorrow I have to do some website updates for a friend and I don't know how long that will take.

Update: There's another one sleeping over, Carly's friend from down the road has joined the slumber-party that tonight is turning in to.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

June Long Weekend

I was lucky enough to get yesterday as an RDO so I'm having a 4-day long weekend. This weekend we celebrate the Queen's birthday, though her actual birthday is in April and her father King George VI's birthday was in June.

Via way of celebration we used to always have bonfires and "cracker night" on the Saturday of the June long weekend, but fireworks are illegal these days without a permit, so that tradition is struggling to survive.

Fireworks aren't that hard to buy, and plenty of people still set them off, but years ago whole neighbourhoods used to get together and make a really big bonfire and pool all their fireworks for a great night out. I remember when I was little we had such fun. I remember a girl at school who had terrible burns all over her face and hands from one such bonfire night. A spark from the fire landed in a box of fireworks that she was looking through. She would have been 4 or 5. So although I don't like to see the end of an era, I can understand the necessity for the permit.

Carly and Alex are both sleeping at their father's house tonight so I plan on enjoying the solitude. I'll hire a moview that I can enjoy, and cook something that they would turn theirs noses up at. Yesterday I went to fix a friend's computer and was their for nearly 3 hours. I mentioned that she needed to buy more RAM, and this morning she rang to say she'd bought it. I went there today to put it in and had a huge struggle. The box was tiny and the memory slots were underneath the drives, and with a couple of fingers I had to feel my way to fitting this memory card. Eventually I got it seated, and my friend was impressed with the huge increase in speed. Money well spent as far as she was concerned. Since SDRAM is no longer being manufactured, the price has gone up $50 from 2 years ago when I bought some.

Monday, June 05, 2006

I Need a Money Tree

I have a couple of website design jobs coming up that I'm wondering how I'll fit in to my busy schedule. These days I hardly have time to scratch myself. Alex is still busy training a few afternoons a week for Touch or Rugby and Carly is looking forward to their next game of Rugby Union. Work is busy as usual and I never have to look far for something to do.

I went to the doctor today after having a mammogram and ultrasound last week, thinking for sure he'd tell me everything was okay and I left with a referral for a surgeon. Not exactly the outcome I was expecting, but I'm still confident all is well. I'm thinking more of the expense. A "Mr" is more costly than a "Dr", and tomorrow I can kiss $200 away at the dentist. I'm not sure where all the money is going to come from and as soon as I whinge about the cost, someone else is telling me I should be more concerned about my health.

I signed up recently for a new phone plan that was capped at $79 and where Carly got $20 worth of free mobile calls a month. She thought it was great. The first bill was for $79 but for only 15 days and I thought maybe $79 was the limit, but this month my phone bill was $170. The mobile bill had an extra $70 and the house phone was huge. I was furious. Carly lost her SIM card and I've gone back to my old service provider. It's costing me twice as much since I changed providers.

So... our Friday night at home was not a pleasant one. I even tried locking the kids out of the home phone, but that's also a service that costs extra. Friday night Carly was invited to a birthday party where they all went to a teen dance thing in Wagga. That cost me $50: $20 for the kid whose birthday it was, $10 to get in and spending money. Lucky she had some left on Saturday or it might have been on again. Alex went fishing for the weekend (brrr... ) with a friend of mine who has a son Alex is friends with, and a few other blokes. He came home freezing and jumped straight in the shower (not like Alex). He didn't catch anything but the blokes got a few fish and lobsters so they did okay. He said they caught a huge lobster, 18 inches long, but it was a female and had a heap of eggs under its tail so they threw it back in. Good to hear!!

It's starting to get cold here. Now that winter is officially here the frosts have started, and we've had a couple of thick foggy mornings. The heater has been going constantly for 2 months already, but knowing it's June makes me feel colder. I hate the cold. I'm dreading the bills when they come in. And talking of bills, I got the one for the house & contents insurance: up $100 since last year. I really need to ring around for a better deal. And, still speaking of money, I have only about 3,000 km left on the tyres until I'm up for a new set. Two months if I'm lucky!

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