On April 16 I wrote about a friend of my brother's who committed suicide. On Wednesday my brother took the same path.
I'm not sure now that what I wrote about Anne was totally true. It's true I didn't get to know her. Obviously her death affected Graham more than we thought or knew.
Graham was the baby in our family. There were 6 of us growing up and my sister Christine was the little mother to Graham when he was a baby. There was 10 years between oldest (me) and youngest (Graham) and we were all very close. Now we're all devastated and dealing with the loss in different ways.
There were lots of reasons and there was no one reason that stood out. Graham and his wife have been separated for 14 months and he has 3 beautiful girls that can't understand what's happened. The hardest thing was when we all gathered to tell the girls that their father was dead. It was heart-breaking and a memory that will never leave me. Aileen (Graham's wife) is blaming herself and we all have our guilt to bear. The first thing that Carly said was that we've seen so little of Graham since they broke up. Warren (my other brother) never stepped foot in his new house. Dad (in Queensland) hasn't seen Graham for a couple of years.
Graham painted our house after the renovations last year and never got back to put the final coat on the outside. Such a fucken waste. Tonight I've decided to get drunk. On Wednesday night most of the family joined all his friends at his local to send him off and I would have loved to join them, but not living in Wagga I just couldn't. I had to get home. Tonight I'm playing his music and remembering the Graham I loved. If he wasn't already dead I could kill him.
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14 years ago